Scenario 2: Bastions of Love

The Captain

May all the fires of hell blast and burn that cowardly captain Giangurgolo to a very dry crisp! You thought you had seen the last of him in Trieste a year ago, but there he was, all smiles and gaily coloured ribbons in the middle of your favourite wine-house. Naturally a wine soaked bragging contest ensured and the next day you had promised that you had the heart of Isabelle de Pantalone in your hand and would gain entrance to her bedroom in less than two days. That was two days ago and you did not even know how to gain an audience with a noble lady, much less bed her!

But just as despair clutched at your heart, aid came from the most unexpected direction of all. None other than the worthless Arlechino, your moronic servant, had gathered information on the frivolities of the fair Isabelle. It turned out she is not the inaccessible ice-queen you took her for - quite the opposite. And military men seem to bee in her taste! Further investigation by Arlechino has revealed that she uses the language of military architecture as a metaphor for love-making and a way of disguising her activities from the ever present chaperons and the legions of unseen but well-meaning spies surrounding her. This seemed a little strange at first, but as you pondered the meaning of proud towers reaching for the sky, wide-open gates and the brutal assault of battering rams the logic became quite clear. Arlechino outshone himself by suggesting that you should disguise yourself as a military architect from Toledo to capture her interest. Said and done, your alias is Turetto Bodega, martial architect extraordinary. Arlechino presents himself as Tosh Mack Osh, a Scottish free-mason and alchemist with insights into magical architecture and your trusted aide. It will be easy to come up with the most amazing stories about the phenomenal towers you have built all over the world, some reaching as high as the moon - not even the architects of Babylon could rival the enormous pillar of Turetto Bodega! You feel quite ready to give the fair lady a thorough guide to how the defences of Vendora should be improved upon! And yes, that is the strategy; to present yourself as the architect you are and talk about how the bastions, gates and walls should be made to withstand an attack from, say the Papal states. Arlechino has told you that the sign that she will let you into her bedchamber is if you manage to get her to tell you the password to the Great Bastions secret backdoor. Oh what sweet mental images those words do paint. But first she must be impressed and do not forget to allow her to speak. Few things excite ladies like the opportunity to speak their own minds, especially on this particular veiled subject.

Ending conditions

If you manage to aquire the password to the Great Bastions secret back-door your luck is made. Make a celebratory speech to the audience hinting at the pleasures to come...

In this scenario, be prepared to adapt to the circumstances. You may have to drop your charade at some point of the performance or be forced to make judgement calls involving alien concepts like loyalty and honour. No choice is wrong or right, do as you feel your version of the Captain would have done.

If things go horribly wrong it may be wise to perform a tactical retreat. Remember that it is your pride that is at stake here. If it seems your life or limb is threatened (Isabelle yells for the guards being a likley example) you may state your intention to depart, giving the other players a chance to disarm the crisis. Only after a minute or two will you actually depart. Let the remaining players end the play.

Need some more puff in yer pants? Get more background on The Captain here.