Scenario 1: Something Wicked This Way Comes

Harlequin

It is hard work being a servant with two masters, but it pays handsomely. Your master, the captain Cocodrillo, is generous to himself but hard on his followers and hardly pays you enough for food and drink and women and a soft bed and bags filled with spicy sausages and colourful jackets and new shoes and all other things a modest servant needs, at least if he is to rise above his station as you intend. So a couple of weeks ago, after setting eyes on a particularly sweet display of rabbit-sausages you decided to get one more master, or mistress in this case. Strictly speaking it is absolutely forbidden to serve two masters at once and you would properly be summarily executed for the crime, but you figured that no-one would ever find out. So off you went. After knocking on the door of a suitably imposing palace and stating your business to the valet you were taken before the lady of the household, the beautiful Isabelle de Pantalone, well known in all of Italy for her wisdom and virtue. You may have bended the truth just a wee bit when you told Isabelle about your intimate knowledge of all noblemen in Italy and your friendship with the man in the moon. Nevertheless she was most impressed and hired you on the spot. Oh, happy occasion! Off to the sausage-man you went and filled your belly with little rabbit-sticks. The next day the trouble (and I'm not talking about the indigestion here) started. It turned out the captain was bent on marrying, or at least deflowering the fair Isabelle in a hurry. You still felt quite safe though, because there was no way in hell Isabelle would like to meet a scoundrel like Cocodrillo. To further ensure this you named the captain "the most worthless man in italy", when she asked you who you considered worthy of this title. To your horror Isabelle, a week later, clearly stated that she wanted a private meeting with Cocodrillo. Oh meciless fate! How is poor Arlechino going to get out of this predicament? Luckily you still have your wits about you and may yet survive to eat another basket of sausages and fart in the pink nostrils of unsuspecting kittens. You have told Cocodrillo that Isabelle is an eccentric lady who enjoys stretching the truth quite liberally and that he should agree to whatever she says. Then you told Isabelle the same thing. Hopefully they will both believe the other party is lying when they say that you are their servant. But the meeting must not go on for too long or they may suspect something. Try to instigate a quarrel between your two masters as soon as possible by giving unsound advice. If this fails, try to disrupt the meeting as much as is humanly possible without losing your position as servant. Inane stories, ridiculous stunts and general carrying on is the way to go. Good luck, and may the gods of the fools watch over you, you will need it.

Ending conditions

The game ends if Isabelle kisses the captain. This means they will meet again. This must not be allowed to occur.

The game ends if Isabelle dismisses the Captain. This is good if they have not found out that you work for the both of them.

The game ends if the captain throws a fit and becomes enraged with Isabelle. This is good if they have not found out that you work for the both of them.

After one of these things happen, you should allow time for your two masters to berate you and chase you offstage.

You cannot end the play yourself, this must be done by one of your masters.

If you are the Host

End the scenario with an appropriate monologue that ends with - "and thus our comedy ends" after one of the above endings have been played out. This ending monologue should be used as a way of summing up the play, thanking the actors and perhaps adding a few words of wisdom on the subject and outcome.

Need some more fuel for your fire? Get more background on Harlequin here.